Monday, August 31, 2009

Challenge 2: Mars Quiz

In this challenge the cast offs were asked to write down answers to a series of questions regarding Mars. The cast offs revealed their answers at the same time. A wrong answer resulted in elimination. Play proceeded until we got down to the last player. It only took 5 questions.
Here's how it played out.

Question 1: Counting out from the Sun, Where does Mars rank numerically among the planets?
Dr. Phil: four
Elisabeth Hasselbeck: fourth
Glenn Beck: 4
Rachel Ray: fourth
Levi Johnston: 4
Ann Coulter: 4
Michael Vick: 4
Miley Cyrus: number 1! Mars Rocks! (ELIMINATED)
Joe Jonas: 4

Question 2: Mars is commonly referred to as the "______ " Planet.
Dr. Phil: red
Elisabeth Hasselbeck: red
Glenn Beck: cold (ELIMINATED)
Rachel Ray: red
Levi Johnston: Marshan (ELIMINATED)
Ann Coulter: red
Michael Vick: dead (ELIMINATED)
Joe Jonas: red

Question 3: How many moons does Mars have?
Dr. Phil: 2
Elisabeth Hasselbeck: two
Rachel Ray: 2
Ann Coulter: 1 (ELIMINATED)
Joe Jonas: 2

Question 4: What is the name of the Roman God of War?
Dr. Phil: Ares (ELIMINATED - Ares is the Greek god of War)
Elisabeth Hasselbeck: Mars
Rachel Ray: Mars
Joe Jonas: Thor? (ELIMINATED)

Question 5: How many Earth days long is a Martian year? Who ever is closest wins.
Elisabeth Hasselbeck: 567
Rachel Ray: 600

The correct answer was 687...Rachel Ray won the challenge! And as winner Rachel had to select which of her fellow cast offs would be restricted to a whole week of nothing but freeze dried food packets to eat. After a little hemming and hawing, she chose Michael Vick.

Friday, August 28, 2009

Strand on Mars Probes Levi Johnston

Levi Johnston (born 1990) is an American teenager who was the subject of extensive media scrutiny during and after the 2008 United States presidential election. He was then the fiancé and the father of the child of Bristol Palin, whose mother is the former Alaska Governor Sarah Palin, who was the Republican vice-presidential nominee. A few months following the election and the birth of his son, Johnston and Palin ended their engagement, and Johnston has publicly feuded with the Palin family.

Johnston attended Wasilla High School, where he played hockey. An Associated Press article after the 2008 Republican convention portrayed Johnston as a tall and muscular "heartthrob" and avid hunter, who has hunted bears, sheep, elk, and caribou, and who has "antlers scattered about his yard."

Johnston and comedian Kathy Griffin attended the 2009 Teen Choice Awards together. The next day Johnston appeared on CNN's Larry King Live in which Griffin was guest-hosting. During the interview Griffin made numerous references to their relationship, and announced that he will remove the wedding ring tattoo bearing Bristol Palin's name. The interview was in sharp contrast to a June 16, 2009 Larry King Live show in which both Griffin and Johnston appeared on the show. At the time, Griffin complained that Johnston was taking up her time on the show and she mocked him for not being able to spell his own name.

Thursday, August 27, 2009

...and then there were nine

With the fewest votes against her in round 1, Reese Witherspoon is our first cast-off granted a reprieve. While Miss Witherspoon may be fingernails on a chalkboard to some, she apparently doesn't rub enough people the wrong way.

Reese packed her bag, said her goodbyes and headed off to occupy one of the nine sleep chambers on the return shuttle.

It's Round Two! Now we're down to nine. It's time to vote! Select 4 of the remaining cast-offs that you'd most like to 'Strand on Mars'!

Tuesday, August 25, 2009

Stranded Update: 08.25.09

Another shouting match erupted between Reese and Ann in the mess hall during Monday nights dinner. Questions of authenticity and gender were tossed around. However no punches were thrown, much to the chagrin of a few of the other cast-offs. Dr. Phil did manage to separate the two and calm things down a bit, mostly by Ann turning her attacks on him.

Tempers also flared between Rachel Ray and Michael Vick when Levi brought up the topic of hunting, which led to the subject of animal abuse. Elisabeth backed up Rachel and said some very 'liberal' things about animal treatment. She seems to be distancing herself from the radical conservatives in the group (Ann and Glenn) which has left her having to think for herself.

Even though Elisabeth sided with Rachel, Rachel is getting on just about every one's nerves (except Reese) with her new catch word, 'mars-velous', which by the way she is hoping to trademark.

Later, Joe Jonas surprised Miley Cyrus with a homemade cupcake to celebrate her song 'Party in the U.S.A.' being #1 on iTunes.

With the first vote results coming in a couple days it's no wonder the tension is mounting.

Find out Thursday who of the 10 cast-offs gets a seat on the shuttle home. Then cast your votes for which of the 9 remaining you wish to 'Strand on Mars'.

Sunday, August 23, 2009

Stranded Update: 08.23.09

Ann Coulter was set loose after her 24 hour punishment in the EVA suit invoked by 'Face on Mars' Challenge winner Joe Jonas. In no time she tore into Reese 'liberal Hollywood' Witherspoon when Reese, tired of Ann's constant snarky remarks, asked Coulter why she was 'so G.D. mean." Meanwhile Michael Vick tried to coax Dr. Phil and Glenn Beck into making a wager on what he foresees as an impending cat fight between the two.

Levi seems to be trying to put some distance between himself and Joe after Joe's attempted fashion make over of Levi. Joe gave him some of his clothes to try on, but Levi got tense when he he realized they were both now standing in their undies talking about fashion. Levi quickly got dressed and started talking about moose hunting.

Miley has now been able to snuggle up closer to Levi, but doesn't know what to make of the distant glares now going on between him and Joe. She and new bff Elisabeth have been having late night discussions about it while they braid each others hair.

Joe now spends most of his time with Rachel Ray in the Marsbase kitchen, rustling up her latest concoctions, Martianmellows, Mars-ka-bobs, and Veggie Marsangna...Yummo!

Friday, August 21, 2009

Face on Mars Challenge Results.

After just over an hour of stumbling around the rocky terrain in their awkward EVA suits the mask was found by Joe Jonas, winning the 'Face on Mars' Challenge.

Even before they got back to base, the other cast offs were already trying to persuade Joe about who he should condemn to spending 24 hours inside their EVA suit. Joe's clique of Reese, Rachel, and tag-along Michael Vick seem to be urging him to pick Ann Coulter, who Rachel describes and 'Bitcho!'

Dr. Phil chimed in, suggesting Ann as well, just to give the group a break from her negative energy. He also suggested pal Glenn Beck, who he referred to as a 'wet blanket on a cold night'. In inadvertently, Dr. Phil had his comm link on broadcast, and that comment went out to everyone instead of just Joe.

Which made Elisabeth suggest he punish Dr. Phil for turning on Glenn.

Miley and Levi stayed out of things and kept to themselves, (nudge nudge wink wink) even sharing their freeze dried Salisbury steak with each other.

After dinner, Joe made his decision, and Ann Coulter is spending 24 hours in her EVA suit.

'Strand on Mars' Intro/Theme

Face on Mars Challenge

Today the castaways face their first challenge, 'Face on Mars'. Each person will don their EVA suit and head out into the Martian landscape. They will be looking for a mask, or 'face', that has been placed somewhere outside the S.O.M. Base module. The person who finds it wins the challenge.

And because this is 'Strand on Mars', instead of getting a real reward, the winner will choose who receives the punishment.

The winner chooses which other castaway has to spend the next 24 hours in their EVA suit. It's bulky and uncomfortable.

Thursday, August 20, 2009

The S.O.M. Base

Here's the Strand on Mars (S.O.M.) Base, the castaway's home away from home while they are marooned. And for one unlucky celeb, their new permanent residence.

Stranded Update 08.20.09

As the cast castaways begin their exile the reality of the situation is starting to sink in.

Glenn Beck is curled up cradled in Elisabeth Hasselbecks arms while she sings 'God Bless America' as a lullaby in his ear. All the while Dr. Phil tells him, "You have the duty and gift of living. You don't have the right to sit on the sidelines--use your life and get back into the game."

Reese's perky attitude is obviously grating on Ann Coulter who looks to be already sporting a five o'clock shadow.

The younger set, of Miley, Joe and Levi seem to be sticking together, but Joe Jonas keeps trying to get Levi alone and muttering something about 'bro's before ho's dude.'

Rachel has already come up with 12 recipes using dehydrated corned beef, while Michael Vick keeps asking her about Isaboo, Rachels dog. "Rach, ya think she could pull twice her weight, even if she had a broken leg?"

Series One: Round One

Our 10 castaways have been marooned on Mars. A shuttle has been dispatched to retrieve them. But there is only enough space for 9 on board. Who deserves to come back and who do you want to Strand on Mars?

It's up to you. And it may be a tough decision. Some of these folks are obnoxious and irritating, some are over exposed, and others are rather despicable.

Vote for the people least deserving of a spot on the return trip. Come back each week and vote from the remaining castaways, until we decide who we will Strand on Mars!

Now let's meet our Series One castaways:

1. Ann Coulter, the radical right-wing commentator and shock jock let's the bile flow for attention. Along with inferring John Edwards is a 'faggot', Ann has said, "My only regret with Timothy McVeigh is he did not go to the New York Times Building." Are we better off if she stayed on Mars?

2. Miley Cyrus, a.k.a Hannah Montana is the child star daughter of Achey Breaky Billy Ray Cyrus. The ubiquitous 'tween star is now the ubiquitous teen star. Yes, Smiley Miley, and her Disney pop music, is everywhere! Should Mars be her next domain?

3. Levi Johnston, the baby daddy of Bristol Palin's child (apparently Grandma Sarah's minimalist approach to sex education -'Don't do it' is not very effective) has flown the Wasilla coop and is looking for a reality TV career. Is that something we should let loose on the world or are his 15 minutes up?

4. Michael Vick, the former Falcons quarterback has returned to his football career after serving 18 months for involvement in a dog fighting ring. Vick pled guilty and admitted to conduct that was "not only illegal, but also cruel and reprehensible". Instead of a job with the Philadelphia Eagles, is Mars a more deserving fate?

5. Glenn Beck, is yet another radical right winger. This FoxNews commentator is known for his crying antics and hypocrisy. Recently, Beck ranted on about how the US health care system was the best in the world and doesn't need fixing. While at CNN, just 18 months earlier Beck spoke from his own experience with the US health care system and was very critical of it. He also accused our mixed race President of being racist. Perhaps his tears will be the much sought after water on Mars.

6. Elisabeth Hasselbeck, the Republican voice on ABC's The View, seems to just repeat the slant and 'facts' from FoxNews and not so much her own original opinions. She recently was accused of plagiarizing a book about cilliacs disease, allegedly again repeating someone else's words. She survived Survivor Outback, could she survive the red planet?

7. Dr. Phil McGraw, the spawn of Oprah Winfrey has been spouting his hill-billified psycho-analytics on his own show as well as adding his two cents about the octo-mom or who ever is currently in the news. Let's not forget he's also the author of a fitness book. Is there anyone on Earth who hasn't had their fill of Dr. Phil?

8. Joe Jonas, it wouldn't be right to strand all of the Jonas brothers, so how about just Joe? After all he looks the least like the other two. Had enough of their music, TV shows, concert movie, purity rings? How 'bout we break up this trio for good?

9. Reese Witherspoon just gets under some people's skin with her perfect and perky attitude. Bad enough she wrangled cutie pahtootie Ryan Phillipe into marrying her, then she wins an Oscar and kicks him to the curb. How 'bout a dose of real loneliness on Mars, and save us from another Legally Blonde movie.

10. Rachel Ray is evvvvvvvvvverywhere! She has a half dozen shows on the Food Network, her own syndicated talk show, and is in what seems like every other commercial. Plus you walk into a store and there are her cook books, cookware, dog food etc. Is it time to take her out of the equation and give someone else a chance?

Well there they are folks our Martian castaways. Place your vote in the side bar for who you'd like to Strand on Mars! This week vote for up to four. And don't forget to comeback and see who got saved, and whose fate is still in your hands. Results and next voting round begins Thursday August 27.