Sunday, September 27, 2009

Strand on Mars Probes Glenn Beck

Glenn Beck loves his country? Or simply exploiting peoples unease during hard times for his own personal gain?

Glenn Beck preparing and practicing for his 'heartfelt & spontaneous' on air sobbing.

Glenn Beck is a radio shock jock who once mocked, on air and on the phone with, the wife of a rival who recently miscarried, that her husband 'couldn't do anything right'. The sad little man, who admits he doesn't check facts, uses his commentary show on Fox'News' to mislead and rile up an angry mob. He claims the President hates 'white culture' and is a racist, and even Beck says, "if you take what I say as gospel, you're an idiot." This charlatan is just inciting hate and selling torches to the mob then will slither out of town to count his money.

Thursday, September 24, 2009

the final 5!

It's true, Hannah Montana is safe. Yes, I know, it's a disappointment to many but the world will not be saved from Miley Cyrus just yet. Only 10% of the voters picked Miley to be permanently marooned on Mars. Miley erupted with tears of joy and wails of "Daddy, Daddy your Miley is coming home!" then she sharply turned to Elisabeth and said, "in yo' face Hasselbeck!".

Cyrus, packed her belongings amid the trash, (the place has become a pig sty since Rachel Ray left) and headed off to her reward, a sleep pod in the rescue ship.

Only 5 are left! It's getting harder and harder to find redeeming qualities among those who remain and now you can only vote for 2 people you'd like to 'Strand on Mars'. Time to vote in round 6!

Here's the run down of who has been saved so far:
Round 1: Reese Witherspoon
Round 2: Levi Johnston
Round 3: Joe Jonas
Round 4: Rachel Ray
Round 5: Miley Cyrus
Round 6: ?
Round 7: ?
Final Round: ? and ?

Sunday, September 20, 2009

Strand on Mars Probes Michael Vick

Videos from 2007

Michael Dwayne Vick (born June 26, 1980, in Newport News, Virginia) is a professional American football quarterback for the Philadelphia Eagles of the National Football League. He previously played for the Atlanta Falcons for six seasons before serving 18 months in prison for his involvement in an illegal dog fighting ring.

In April 2007, Vick was implicated in an extensive and unlawful interstate dog fighting ring that had operated over a period of five years. In August 2007, he pled guilty to federal felony charges, and was subsequently sent to prison for 23 months. With loss of his NFL salary and product endorsement deals, combined with previous financial mismanagement, Vick filed for Chapter 11 bankruptcy in July 2008.

Vick was transferred from prison to home confinement in May 2009. Falcons owner Arthur Blank did not want Vick on the Falcons, and after attempts to trade him failed, Vick was released. He then signed with the Philadelphia Eagles, and will be fully reinstated and eligible to play in Week 3 of the 2009 season

Thursday, September 17, 2009

just six remain!

With the least votes against her it looks like Rachel Ray will be returning to Earth. She has been granted the 4th spot on the return shuttle. Rachel somehow turned things around, because for awhile last week she was leading with the most votes. But she worked it out this week, so we'll be seeing more of her talk show, her 30 minute meals and the other half dozen Food Network shows she does, plus pitches for her cookbooks, cookware, dog food etc. etc. etc.

So with her notebook of new recipes and catch phrases, Rachel packed up and headed off to her sleep pod on the rescue ship. There, she'll remain in stasis until all 9 pods are occupied, leaving 1 sole cast off marooned on the red planet for eternity. With Rachel gone, the realization that they all have a 1 in 6 chance of being stranded on Mars has begun to sink in.

Glenn Beck has started to make tear filled pleas for rescue, vowing that he's changed his ways, claiming he's only been acting like an ignorant jackass for ratings. Ann Coulter is disgusted by his behavior and remarked that he needs to 'find his balls'.

Elisabeth Hasselbeck, is really stunned that she's still here. She's been trying to contact former President Bush for help, but has been unable to reach him.

Dr. Phil is distracting himself by concentrating on everyone else's behavior, especially Elisabeth and Glenn, who need to "take responsibility and make the best of the situation."

Michael Vick, has been on the com link to his lawyers, cussing them out and threatening to release the hounds.'s down to Round 5! Cast your vote for who of the last 6 you'd most like to 'Strand on Mars'.

Wednesday, September 16, 2009

Sandstorm subsides

The 5 day sandstorm that has engulfed the MarsBase, is letting up. Communication with the base should resume by tomorrow morning, just in time to relay the results of round 4 and give one of the cast offs the good news that they'll be given a second chance on Earth.

Tuesday, September 15, 2009

Strand on Mars Probes Miley Cyrus

Miley Ray Cyrus (born Destiny Hope Cyrus; November 23, 1992) is an American recording artist and actress. Cyrus is best known for starring as the title character in the Disney Channel series Hannah Montana. Following the success of Hannah Montana, in October 2006, a soundtrack CD was released in which she sang eight songs from the show. Cyrus' solo music career began with the release of her debut album, Meet Miley Cyrus on June 23, 2007, which included her first top ten single "See You Again". Her second album, Breakout, was released on July 22, 2008. Breakout is Cyrus' first album that does not involve the Hannah Montana franchise. Both albums debuted at #1 on the Billboard 200. In 2008, she appeared in the Hannah Montana & Miley Cyrus: Best of Both Worlds Concert film.

Cyrus also starred in Bolt in 2008, and recorded "I Thought I Lost You" for the soundtrack for which she earned a Golden Globe nomination. She starred in the film spin-off of Hannah Montana, titled Hannah Montana: The Movie which was released on April 10, 2009. In 2008, Cyrus was listed in Time magazine's 100 Most Influential People in The World. Forbes magazine ranked her #35 on the "Celebrity 100" list with earnings of $25 million in 2008.

Wednesday, September 9, 2009

...down to seven.

This week it wasn't even close. With far fewer votes cast against him than any of the other 8 cast-offs, virginity challenged teen pop idol, Joe Jonas is rewarded with a ticket on the ship back to Earth. Only 6.7% of voters wished to strand Joe on Mars, while the next lowest vote getter had 33.3%. Joe packed his things and said his good-byes giving big hugs to Rachel Ray, and Miley Cyrus.

Here's what 93.7% of voters felt the Earth couldn't do without.

With Levi Johnston, and Joe Jonas (who just turned 20 last month), now gone, Miley Cyrus remains as the only young 'un whose fate is yet to be determined. She's up against the seditious Glenn Beck, the vile tongued Ann Coulter, convicted dog fight runner Michael Vick, Republican mouthpiece Elisabeth Hasslebeck, the everywhere-you-look-it's Rachel Ray, and diet advising, psycho-counseling, celebrity meddling Dr. Phil.

Now cast your votes in Round 4 for who to 'Strand on Mars' - This week you can only vote for up to 3.

Saturday, September 5, 2009

Strand on Mars Probes Dr. Phil

Dr. Phil on Britney Spears

Phillip Calvin McGraw (born September 1, 1950), best known as Dr. Phil, is an American television personality, author, and former psychologist, currently the host of his own television show, Dr. Phil, which debuted in 2002. McGraw first gained celebrity status with appearances on The Oprah Winfrey Show in the late 1990s.

In 1990, McGraw joined lawyer Gary Dobbs in co-founding Courtroom Sciences Inc. (CSI), a trial consulting firm through which McGraw later came into contact with Oprah Winfrey. Eventually, CSI became a profitable enterprise, advising Fortune 500 companies and injured plaintiffs alike in achieving settlements. McGraw is no longer an officer or director of the company.

After starting CSI, McGraw ceased the practice of Psychology. He maintained his license current and in good standing until he elected to retire it 15 years later in 2006. Appearing on the Today Show in January 2008, McGraw said that he has made it "very clear" that his current work does not involve the practice of psychology. He also said that he had "retired from psychology." According to the Today Show, the California Board of Psychology determined in 2002 that he did not require a license because his show involves "entertainment," rather than psychology. (Source -

Thursday, September 3, 2009

...eight remain.

It may be a slightly surprising result to some, but Alaska's most famous baby-daddy has been given a second chance on Earth. Levi Johnston received the least votes, earning his space on the return shuttle. Some expected Joe Jonas, Rachel Ray, or even Miley Cyrus would be 'saved' before Levi. But apparently being outcast by the Palin clan earned him a soft spot in the hearts of the voters. Or all the gay guys who voted think he is too hot to strand on Mars.

After a moment of disbelief, Levi said, "Cool." He did his handshakes and fistbumps and packed his stuff.

That means Round 3 is here and it's time to vote for the remaining 8 personalities that you'd like to Strand on Mars. Cast your vote for your top 4 in the sidebar poll.

Wednesday, September 2, 2009

Stranded Update 09.02.09

Now that the cast offs are into there 2nd week, the reality of being marooned on Mars seems to be sinking in and the atmosphere at the base is much more subdued. Glenn is not crying as much, and though he tries to ingratiate himself with the rest of the lot, they do their best to avoid him. He's often stuck playing cards with Ann Coulter.

Elisabeth and Rachel have been trying to cheer up Miley, who has broke down several times since Reese left. She 's stressed and weeping over the fact that she wasn't the first to be saved, "I don't understand, everybody loves me!!! Waaaaahhh!" Dr. Phil has tried talkin' sense into her too, but to no avail.

Joe and Levi are back on better terms, and occasionally challenge Michael and Dr. Phil to play some Wii games.

They all seem to be trying to distract themselves knowing tomorrow is the end of Round 2. One more will be saved, but the rest will remain.